Pull the Plug on Your Pity Party

Crying baby wiping her eyes

OK, so you’ve been looking for a new job for some time now, but coming up empty-handed. What do you do? The first instinct is to feel sorry for yourself. “Oh, poor me! Nothing ever works out the way I want!” Those negative messages spring to mind so quickly, don’t they?

Being upset at the onset of something bad happening is normal. However, you need to cut off those negative emotions before they get out of hand. Why is this necessary?

1. Opportunities may pass you by. I know the job market is still tough, but there are jobs out there. People are getting offers every day. If you aren’t getting the jobs you apply for, don’t say, “Poor me!” Instead, see it as an opportunity to find a job that is an even better fit. If you are so busy crying in your cups, you may miss them when they come your way.

2. Excuses mask reality. “Unemployed need not apply.” Yes, there have been job postings that have said that, but hiring managers are interviewing and hiring people who are in transition. I just got a message from a friend who had been laid off during the summer that she started her new job this week!

Even if you’ve been unemployed long-term, it’s not a good excuse to to give up. I’ve worked with folks who have been laid off and landed, including one client who had been unemployed for almost two years when we started working together.

If you keep coming up short in your job hunt, figure out why it’s happening:

Once you know why it’s happening, make a plan to change it. It’s not worth hanging on to any bad habits that may be impeding your job hunt.

3. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You don’t think you can get a job? Well, guess what — people can pick up on that negative vibe. And they won’t offer you a job. They won’t call you in for interviews. Your attitude shapes the success you have (or lack thereof), so work to make your attitude one of gratitude even in the face of challenging circumstances.

How can you work to greatly reduce or eliminate self-pity from your job hunt?

Image courtesy of MIKI Yoshihito

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