Today was a big change for a member of the Cooley household: it was my daughter’s first day of school.
She has been eagerly anticipating this day ever since we went to the initial registration way back in February. And then it proceeded to be a long spring and summer as my dear girl would regularly ask me when she would get to go to school. The month of August made everything real as my husband and I went to meetings related to school, rounded up the necessary supplies, and purchased additional items for her wardrobe.
But Tuesday morning, after she did a dry run of waking up to her new alarm clock, she crawled into my arms and sobbed. When I asked her what was the matter, she replied, “I don’t want to go to school. I want to stay with you, Mommy!”
Such a familiar feeling, isn’t it? To be excitedly waiting for some momentous event to happen, and then when it is about to occur, we want to shrink away from it and stay in our comfort zones.
Maybe the change is switching careers, or finally getting that promotion you’ve been working toward, or getting a job with your dream company, or starting your own business.
None of it is 100% comfortable at the onset because this represents a change in the normal routine. It requires a movement out of the known into the unknown. In these new situations, we have to risk making mistakes and being vulnerable because we don’t know what will happen. We have to learn on the fly and hope that we catch on without embarrassing ourselves too badly.
And yet, it’s rather funny that we would be so resistant to change. Really, the presence of change is the one thing that is a constant in our lives. As much as we try to keep things the same, change still has a way of happening (or we get so bored/frustrated with the sameness of life that we actively usher in change).
Instead of fighting the change, why not welcome it with open arms? It’s going to happen regardless, so try using a new approach as changes come. Invite it in!
As for my daughter? Well, she still wasn’t sure about school at the end of her three and a half hours there today, but after a soothing bath and a nap, life looked a bit differently. She’s game to give it a go again tomorrow.
What about you? Are you up for welcoming change into your life?
Does your job search feel like it’s stuck in neutral? Hit a road block with your career? Let’s work together to jump-start your success!
Twitter: ryanrancatore
says:
Melissa – What a special day! I’m looking forward to Part 2 of this post when your daughter has her first great achievement at school. If she is anything like you I don’t think it will take long.
Twitter: TheJobQuest
says:
Well, thank you, Ryan!
She’s a tough little cookie. I would agree that she doesn’t let much slow her down. Some trepidation about changes in routine crop up here and there, but we get through them together and then she’s off to conquer the next challenge
I think your blog post was actually a sweet kick off to a potential series of posts about this topic. Most writers pretend to know what they are preaching about when it comes to this area and most of the time, nearly no one actually get it. You seem to really dominate it however, so I think you should take it and run. Thank you!
Twitter: ed_han
says:
Melissa, what a great source of inspiration re: embracing change! I hope your daughter’s second day goes more smoothly!
Ed Han´s last [type] ..The Importance of Being Busy
Twitter: LeslyCardec
says:
Melissa,
What a wonderful post! Love this part: We have to risk making mistakes and being vulnerable because we don’t know what will happen.
Couldn’t have said it better myself! Looking forward to hearing how the rest of your daughter’s week goes
-Lesly
Twitter: jakelacaze
says:
I love the theme of this post. So many people talk about wanting change, yet when faced with it, they are reluctant to take the leap because, as you said, they want to stay in their comfort zones. Perfect example – people who complain about their jobs yet never do anything to get out. I remember when I made my last job transition, people kept asking me if I was scared. Of course, I was, but I knew I couldn’t stay where I was.
I hope your daughter soon adapts to this change so that all of you can enjoy it. I don’t have any kids of my own, but I know this can be a stressful time for those who do.
Jake LaCaze´s last [type] ..It Ain’t Social Media If You Don’t Say Something
Twitter: TheJobQuest
says:
@Rusty: Thank you!
@Ed and @Lesly: It did go better the next day. After I picked her up on Day Two, she asked me if she could go again tomorrow (today), and I had to explain to her that she had Fridays off. She wasn’t happy about that
@Jake: You’re right. Folks are so worried about “jumping from the frying pan into the fire” that they instead do nothing, even though they hate what they are doing/where they are.
I love that photo. So cute. And her sweet little outfit!
The gold digger´s last [type] ..In which I date a really nice but kind of boring guy I meet on the train
Twitter: TheJobQuest
says:
Thanks, GD! I was happy with how her first-day-of-school clothes came together since my child absolutely has opinions about what she wears
Melissa,
So you believe it is natural to be tentative as we take the first steps after a career change. How do you get over that tentativeness? I’ve just moved from being a congregational rabbi in the U.S. to being a new entrepeneur and immigrant to Israel — lots of risk-taking, but now I’m feeling tentative as I embrace a new professional identity…
Mark Robbins
Twitter: TheJobQuest
says:
Hi Mark!
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting
Yes, I do believe that most changes, even if they are wanted and are actively worked toward, involve some unease. The best way to get over it is to just jump right in and doggy paddle to keep your head above water. It doesn’t always look pretty, but be willing to put yourself out there every day.
Two specific things you can do:
-Read everything you can that pertains to what you are doing. Blogs, books, magazines, whatever. Figure out what resonates with you and what doesn’t (you don’t have to agree with it all, even if it’s written by an “expert.”) It helps you feel more confident about your own philosophy toward it.
-Network. Find groups related to your specific field and start going. If the group centers around the technical aspects of what you do, that’s a bit easier because you can ask questions about that and not have as much pressure to be a social butterfly. Meeting people will come a bit more naturally if there is a venue for asking questions. If you tend to be a more social person, also go to social groups that apply.
I hope this helps, Mark. You have taken the first big step by making the move to Israel and changing careers, so keep on going! Even if it’s baby steps some days, it’s all moving in the right direction.
Best of luck to you in this endeavor,
Melissa