Looking Forward, Looking Back. Is That All There Is?

“Oh, I can’t wait to go!”

“Remember the good old days?”

“It will be so wonderful when this project is done and we have more time to relax!”

“Look at how little the kids were in these pictures! How’d they grow so fast?”

Have you ever uttered these phrases (or ones like it)? It’s so easy to anticipate something that (you hope) will be enjoyable or look wistfully upon the past. Some people spend a lot of time looking in either direction.

But what about right now? Yes, I mean this very moment that you are reading this sentence. How much time are you focusing on the here and now?

For some of you who are going through a difficult time in life — a job loss, divorce, death of a loved one — there may not be a desire to put that much emphasis on the present time. But think about the alternatives:

• Say you find yourself constantly thinking about the past. Continually reliving what has happened before doesn’t change it or bring it to life. Whether you are angry about something that happened or look back fondly on your memories of time gone by, the fact remains that it’s static. No matter which way you analyze it, the situation is permanently etched in history. Nothing you do right now changes it.

• Or, you always tend to be fascinated with the future. Maybe it’s the anticipation of a future event that is planned. Maybe it’s the hope for something better to come along in life. But, if you stare at the future for so long, before you know it, what was the future time has slipped by and is now the past. Did you make the most of that moment?

I’m not saying that there is no value in being reflective of past events or looking forward to some spot in the future. There’s great importance in both activities.

Jake LaCaze recently wrote an excellent post that illustrates the benefits of revisiting prior events/work, and I agree that doing it from time to time helps you put things in perspective and allows you to learn from your successes and your mistakes. Also, a future-focus not only can give you hope, but it can give shape and meaning to your career and your life.

But to spend the majority of your time in either place makes you less effective right now.

My thoughts on this have been shaped significantly by a psychology class I took as an undergrad on the subject of Reality Therapy.

To give some background, Reality Therapy is an approach that “focuses on the here-and-now of the client and how to create a better future. Typically, clients seek to discover what they really want and whether what they are currently doing (how they are choosing to behave) is actually bringing them nearer to, or further away from, that goal.”

So that’s the thing. “Focus on the here-and-now…to create a better future.”

The past is the past — nothing changes the good and the bad that reside there. The future is unknown, and will be affected in part by factors that are out of your control. But right now — right now — holds all the promise of the future. What you do right now will have a hand in determining how your future plays out, that future which will eventually be your present.

What about right now? How much time are you investing in these vital moments?

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